‘I didn’t have to shrink myself’: Thursday Dating Perth hosts new breed of events for tall singles only

For Perth’s tallest singles, finding someone on their level can sometimes feel like a stretch.

At six foot tall, 27-year-old Temelely Crawford is no stranger to standing out in a crowd, but she said it is not always an advantage when it comes to dating.

“Dating in Perth is pretty abysmal, to be honest,” she said.

“Men either are just too intimidated because of the height or if they do approach, then it’s never a fun vibe.”

Ms Crawford said she could often sense a potential suitor’s interest disappear the moment they realised she might be taller than them.

“You can tell when someone’s interested, and then they realise you’re too tall and they make comments about your height,” she said.

“And then it’s like, ‘Oh, okay, so you were only interested when I didn’t make you look smaller or feel smaller as a person.’”

The pressure to fit a certain mould has followed Ms Crawford well beyond the dating scene, with traditional expectations of women being “petite and delicate” sometimes leaving her reluctant to embrace her height.

“From the moment I started going out, I always wore sneakers. I never really wore heels because I was always very embarrassed, and I felt shame,” she said.

“I was always wanting to try and be attractive to other people. So I always thought about that instead of just thinking about being comfortable in my own skin.”

Now, a new breed of singles events is giving people like Ms Crawford a chance to stand a little taller.

Themed around height, the concept has taken off through Thursday Dating Perth, which hosts weekly singles events at bars and pubs across the city.

Events manager Kara Benton said the idea was inspired by an American creator who travels around the country organising meet-ups for tall people.

“There’s a guy over in America who runs something called tall meetups. His name’s Tyler, basically he goes all around America trying to find the tallest person in each city,” she said.

“I thought it’d be just such a fantastic idea to use this concept and turn it into a singles event.”

As someone on the taller side herself, Ms Benton understood the appeal of creating a space where height was no longer something to feel self-conscious about.

“Being tall can make it harder, worrying about wearing heels and all that,” she said.

“So I just thought we’d give it a go and see what the uptake was on it.”

The response was bigger than she expected.

The first promotional post went viral, with the inaugural event at Fremantle’s Old Courthouse attracting nearly 180 people.

Ms Benton said attendees were thrilled to find themselves in a room where their height was no longer the exception.

“For the really tall singles they were saying, ‘I don’t have to look down and really strain my neck’,” she said.

“The tall women just absolutely loved being in a room full of tall men around their heights.”

A second gathering followed, with organisers introducing strict height requirements to ensure everyone could enjoy the experience.

Women had to be at least five foot 10, while men needed to be six foot one or taller.

“With heels, I’m 5’11, so I actually felt small at this event,” Ms Benton said.

For Ms Crawford, who attended the second gathering, the biggest draw card was not necessarily the prospect of finding a boyfriend.

It was finding a room full of people who she could relate to.

“It was very relaxed and calm and I made quite a few girlfriends, which was really fun,” she said.

“I feel you don’t get to have those sort of conversations with people. My friends would never understand what it’s like to go to a shop and not find pants that fit them, or having someone question what height you are.

“It was very fun to be able to be like, ‘Oh, your story is similar to mine and we’ve shared similar experiences’.”

For her, the real takeaway was being able to enjoy herself without feeling the need to make herself smaller.

“It was fun just being around people that you didn’t feel like you had to shrink around or like make yourself smaller just to be accepted in the room,” she said.

“It was really nice to hold your head up high and have your shoulders out and just being okay and proud of being tall.”

And she is not alone in wanting a dating scene that offers more than swiping through carefully curated profiles.

At six foot nine, 22-year-old Harry Betlehem knows what it is like to have his height become the first — and sometimes only — thing people notice about him.

“A lot of people look at me like I’m from another planet,” he said.

Even the dating apps have failed to escape the height conversation, with Mr Betlehem saying potential matches regularly question whether his profile is telling the truth.

“90 per cent of my interactions are, ‘You’re not six nine’, and they meet me, and oh, you’re actually six nine,” he said.

He believes the scepticism could even be costing him matches, with some assuming he is being dishonest before they have had the chance to get to know him.

“I think it loses me matches because they just think right away this guy’s fibbing about the most important thing, so how can I trust him with anything else,” he said.

Mr Betlehem sees the Thursday Dating event as an opportunity to tackle what he believes is a growing reluctance among young people to approach strangers and make connections in person.

“Gen Z kind of has a problem with networking and getting out there and making those connections,” he said.

“I rarely meet someone who has gone up to someone in a bar with no contact with them whatsoever.”

In a dating landscape dominated by swipes, likes and profile pictures, the events offer a chance to put the phone away and see where a real-life conversation leads.

“Thursday dating events are as good as you want to make them out to be,” he said.

“You’re probably beautiful, and you’re probably going to be fine at those events, so give it a go.”

Ms Crawford agreed. She believes the era of endless swiping and constructing the perfect online persona is wearing thin, with real-life connections offering something a dating profile never could.

“I think the idea of dating apps are dead,” she said.

“I feel like we should go back to old school of meeting people out and being able to converse in real life and not feel like you have to curate an idea of yourself.

“Even if you don’t get a date out of it, you at least are having fun and meeting new people, and that’s kind of what life’s about.”

Ms Benton said the popularity of the gatherings suggested there was a genuine appetite for singles events that broke away from the traditional dating-app formula.

While she could not put a figure on how many romantic connections had blossomed since the first gathering, she was confident the chemistry in the room translated into second dates.

“I’m sure after all the connections of what I see was happening in the room that there definitely would have been a lot of dates afterwards,” she said.

And while height might not matter to everyone, she believes finding someone who shares that experience can make a difference.

“I know people say height doesn’t matter, but I think when you’re in the real taller scale, I think it definitely helps to be around the same height,” she said.