“Stand up, speak out”: Stopping violence against women begins with calling out your peers

If you see something, say something. It’s a simple message echoed time and time again when it comes to violence against women but for some it doesn’t seem to sink in. This message will be at the forefront of White Ribbon Day on Friday, as advocates call for an end to gender-based violence and encourage community members to ask “how can men make change?” Statistics show on average, one woman a week is murdered by her current or former partner and Australian women are nearly three times more likely than men to experience violence from an intimate partner. One-in-four Australian women have experienced physical or sexual violence by a current or past intimate partner since the age of 15, according to the ABS. MORE NEWS All of the women in my life have swapped stories of feeling unsafe due to fears of how gender-based violence will manifest in their own lives. We hold our breath walking past a group of men alone at night, tightly clutching our keys as we prepare for the worst possible outcome — and this is not women just “being dramatic”. In 2018, comedian Eurydice Dixon was raped and murdered while walking through a Melbourne park, only moments after sending a text reading: “I’m almost home safe”. Sarah Everard was walking home from a friend’s house in south London in March when she was raped and murdered by a police officer, the one man who was supposed to protect and keep her safe. Six months later, Sabina Nessa was walking through a busy park to meet a friend when she was killed — a journey that should have taken her five minutes. The smallest steps can help stop giving weight to the attitudes that let toxic masculinity fester, burrowing roots deep into the psyche as poor influences teach young men that dominant and hostile forms of masculinity that condone disrespect and sexual harassment are the norm. It’s realising “boys will be boys” is not an acceptable excuse for someone’s behaviour. It’s understanding consent. It’s believing women. It’s taking a stand against rape culture. Call out the sexist comment your friend passes off as a joke, stand up for women, think about how your biases and stereotypes influence your actions. There is a critical intersection between toxic masculinity and gender-based violence. Boys learn to be men from the men in their lives. Teach your peers to value women not because you empathise that they could be your sister, your daughter or your wife, but because they are people and are worthy of respect. I’m not saying all men are the problem, but all men have a role to play in the solution. Be the role model you would want your younger self to learn from.