The Ashes 2025-26: Sir Geoffrey Boycott savages Bazball, Harry Brook and Will Jacks after second Test defeat

Sir Geoffrey Boycott has pulled no punches in a scathing review of England, calling Ben Stokes’ men “up their own backsides” with a “bullsh—t” blueprint.

The former captain — who never lost a series in Australia — also savaged Harry Brook’s decision making and said Will Jacks’ off-spin wouldn’t trouble his mother.

England and its Bazball brand is on the brink after losing the second Test by eight wickets in Brisbane on Sunday night.

Boycott, in a column for The Telegraph, lined up his former side and did not miss.

“Ben Stokes said England had a blueprint. They had been planning this tour for four years and know what they are doing. What a load of bulls---,” Boycott wrote.

“We can’t believe anything Ben or his team say. None of them want to listen to anyone outside of their own camp.

“They are up their own backsides convinced that Test cricket has changed so much that only they know anything about the modern game.

“They won’t have it, but there is no substitute for competitive match cricket. That is where you find out what length to bowl on Australian pitches, what shots to use best on their surfaces and more importantly what not to do.

“One of the problems with this squad is it appears nobody tells them off or sits them down and discusses what they could or should have done differently.

“All we ever hear from the captain is attack and from the coach keep the faith. After some of those dismissals my Yorkshire captain Brian Close would have stood at the top of the pavilion steps with steam coming out of his ears waiting to give you a ‘knuckle sandwich’.”

Next in Boycott’s scope was England’s radical No. 5.

Boycott said Brook was batting with “disregard for the team situation”.

“So far in tight situations Harry has let the team down by not getting England home for a win and when a match is in the balance he somehow doesn’t read that the moment calls for a little restraint,” he said.

“Every great team needs one maverick who can make magic but it has to help you win.

“So far in tough moments Harry hasn’t helped England win, in fact he has given his wicket away. You get the feeling he is batting with a disregard for the team situation.

“So far the penny has not dropped, maybe it never will. I hope not because it would be sad to watch a guy with once in a lifetime talent fail to grasp that the object is using that special talent is to win.”

Boycott’s perhaps sharpest clip was left for all-rounder Will Jacks.

Jacks came into the side for Mark Wood and provided some strong resistance with the bat alongside Stokes in the second innings.

But it wasn’t enough to impress Boycott, who said Jacks was a “hit and giggle batsman” and a bowler his mum could play “with my proverbial stick of rhubarb”.

“Will Jacks took an amazing one-handed catch to get rid of the dangerous Steve Smith and in the second innings he made a gutsy 41. But if he is a Test match cricketer,” he said.

“No disrespect intended but he is a hit and giggle batsman in T20 and my Mum could play his bowling with my proverbial stick of rhubarb. There is no oomph or variation.”