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Glen Quartermain: Bring back the thrill of Lilac Hill! Long-lost summer sporting rituals and fun

Headshot of Glen Quartermain
Glen QuartermainThe West Australian
Beer snakes don't get the chance to grow as big as they used to.
Camera IconBeer snakes don't get the chance to grow as big as they used to. Credit: Mal Fairclough/WA News

Big Merv bending like a yogi, beach balls and beer snakes, gold jackets, brown water and a long missed cricket festival.

Summer, it seems, is not as much fun as it used to be on the sporting landscape.

So let’s bring back:

BEER SNAKES & BEACH BALLS

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There are dangerous projectiles that should remain banned at the cricket, such as glass bottles and cats (I swear I once saw one thrown in the air during a Mexican wave at the MCG’s Bay 13).

Inflatable beach balls and beer snakes are not among them.

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Even the sometime-after-tea-crowd-pleasing Mexican wave is outlawed.

“The Mexican wave and beer snakes are prohibited due to the volume of rubbish and liquids thrown in the air, and the potential for patron inconvenience and injury,” Cricket Australia’s crowd behaviour guidelines state.

“These activities may be appealing to a small minority but we have a greater responsibility to service the majority of fans who are genuine cricket fans who do not want their match day experience tarnished by this behaviour.”

Beach balls are banned as they can apparently “interfere with spectator enjoyment and often enter the playing arena and disrupt play”.

Really? There is nothing more deflating — sorry — than watching a beach ball almost complete its journey around the stadium, only to be seized on by an over-zealous security guard who then produces a Stanley knife and plunges it into the air conveyance.

ON-FIELD CALISTHENICS

Merv Hughes in 1989.
Camera IconMerv Hughes in 1989. Credit: David Cannon/Getty Images

Bay 13 was the cricket alter at which Merv Hughes preached.

It started with a few innocent hamstring stretches while the big moustachioed Aussie quick was fielding at deep third man.

Then one fan, two, three, four. Entire chunks of the crowd would be mimicking Hughes. And so began Swervin’ Merv’s career in improv. The crazier the stretches, the more the crowd engaged.

It was fun. It was pure. It was cricket at its best when fans had a “relationship” with the players. This was an Aussie summer as it was meant to be.

But who of the current XI could take up his lead? Only spinner Nathan Lyon has the “cultish” qualities to get away with it.

LILAC HILL

It was a relaxed entry point to the international summer of cricket — a chance for the touring team to shake off its jet lag and a few sore spots in a festival atmosphere on a picturesque pocket of Caversham before heading to a local winery for a chilled SSB after play.

The Lilac Hill Cricket Festival. Beer, wine, cheese. And big sixes into the Swan.

First played in 1990 between a WACA President’s XI and England to launch its Ashes tour and last held in 2008, the Lilac Hill Festival Match Committee cited the reluctance of touring teams to play at the iconic venue, along with the increasingly cramped domestic schedule, for its demise.

Apart from giving cricket lovers their first glance of the “enemy”, the festival featured some unforgettable moments, such as Dennis Lillee opening the bowling with his son Adam against Pakistan on the 10th anniversary of the first match in 1999.

Richard Hadlee, Jeff Thomson, Graeme Pollock, Barry Richards, Michael Holding, Allan Border and Greg Chappell were among the greats who played at Midland Guildford’s home ground.

There was a unique festival feel at Lilac Hill.
Camera IconThere was a unique festival feel at Lilac Hill. Credit: Mal Fairclough/WA News

YARRA DIVE

Tennis has its traditions.

There is the climb into the Wimbledon supporters’ box, first audacious steps taken by Aussie Pat Cash in 1987.

But whatever happened to the dive into the murky Yarra River for Australian Open champions? Boris Becker was the first to brave Melbourne’s murky river in 1991 and Jim Courier and his coach followed his lead the following January.

Courier was back again the next year but later revealed: “I got some sort of stomach virus after swallowing some of the water.”

The last winner to take the plunge was Angelique Kerber in 2016.

GOLD JACKET

Rod Pampling with his gold jacket.
Camera IconRod Pampling with his gold jacket. Credit: Lucas Dawson/Getty Images

The US Masters at Augusta National has the famous green jacket. And for 36 years, Australia had its the infamous gold jacket, given to the winner of the Australian Masters.

First held at Huntingdale on Melbourne’s sandbelt, in 1979, the Aussie Masters were dominated by Greg Norman, who has six “canaries” in his cupboard, all won between 1981 and 1990.

The tournament was played at Huntingdale each year til 2008 before it was rotated and in 2015 cut from the Australasian tour.

Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Nick Faldo, Bernhard Langer, Mark O’Meara, Colin Montgomerie and Sergio Garcia all featured in the event that rivalled the Australian Open for prestige.

Dust the gold garment.

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